Fear of a Female Planet

On Thursday we had to say goodbye to Yoshimi. Her spirits were still very good, but she had started hiding more, and was clearly uncomfortable. With a long, hot, holiday weekend coming up we decided that it was time to enact the "a week early is better than a day late" policy.

We spent that night and the next morning with her and then had a pretty awful experience at the vet. Our Vet is amazing, but everything that could go wrong went wrong. Yoshimi didn't go through any more pain than she would have if they had gone right, but we ended up having to give her an injection right into her heart because she tore up a vet tech that tried to insert her catheter and the sedative didn't work.

Nick has been my rock in all this - his counsel, opinion, support, and affection for Yoshimi made me feel like I wasn't alone in this. And, for once, I think that the fact that we took her home for a few weeks was a very good idea - we all enjoyed that time immensely.

In the meantime, we still don't know what is wrong with our house and are waiting for autopsy results to give us a better idea. They say they will be very thorough, but it may take up to three weeks for test results. In the meantime, it is very sad living in a house without cats - except for living in the dorms for two years, I have always lived with cats. The house is lonely and quiet and cold. But, we can't, in good conscious get any more pets while we live here.

Yoshimi has really really grown to like this string:


And she's always loved these windows:


And she has recently really enjoyed this window seat:


Nick took this timed shot when I was at work:


This is Yoshimi's original adoption sheet - she was supposedly named "Brenda" - this is what she thinks of that:



Being mischievous:



At the vet :(

Who is the most adorable kitty ever and gained 1/2 a pound? Yoshimi, that's who!

Yoshimi's internist is off rounds this week so I've been emailing her about Yoshimi's status. This most recent email is adorable:

"I'm off clinics but would love it if you could have me paged so I can come down and check on Yoshimi (I haven't seen her in over 48 hours- hee hee)."

She continues to eat every our or so and is downright frisky! She's talkative and playful!

This evening, while just starting to feed Yoshimi, she ejected her feeding tube - all of it. Went to the emergency room and we decided to leave it out this weekend and see what happens. At least they didn't charge me for the visit.

I also have the flu. Had to take a muscle relaxer last night just to sleep, my body ached so much.

Okay, I have other thoughts on having a great time in my climbing class (such wonderfully supportive teammates - can't wait to see them in the gym!), I got a shitton of work done on my dissertation today (a useful and well timed exercise in why you need deadlines), and I'm really looking forward to getting away for 36 hours this weekend with Greg and Nick (just like ol' times :), but right now... I feel like I am trying to convince my cat to live :(

She's still not eating on her own, she's losing weight rather than gaining, and she's just never been *that* kind of cat. She's always been... aloof and spartan and not affectionate. I feel like with Calvin, I know what to do, that affection works, that he wants to be here with me. With Yoshimi... I feel like... I don't know :(

And at the same time, she's a love. She's transforming into an affectionate cat. Who wouldn't with a feeding tube and constant attention?

And then she flicks her tail and me and it breaks my heart. That's how we picked her, flicking her tail in her humane society crate...

I want to speak to her and have her listen and tell her and have her hear me that I love her more than anything and want to live with her forever and ever. Because I do!

Yoshimi's new home:



It took Calvin exactly one evening to figure out how to get to her food in there (crawling around the back and into the bookcase), but I found an old poster frame and blocked the back so he can't get to it. Not peeing on my bed - priceless. The decoration hanging on the cage? Greg got me that on his last business trip - I thought it was fitting.



This is her signature move.

Really...

She was shaved for her ultrasound:



They decorated her bandages with little leaves!



These are all her medications, food, syringes, instructions, bills, and what not:



And this is her feeding/medication schedule:

I woke up around 2:15 last night when I heard Yoshimi crawl out from under the bed. Things didn't sound right, so I turned the light on - she wasn't walking right and looked confused. I pet her a while and then she lay down in my closet. A few minutes later she got up again and became increasing confused and distressed. We got a community car and brought her to the emergency room at 3:45. They diagnosed her with Feline Hepatic Lipidosis. Essentially she hasn't been eating since janusnori's cats moved in and since cats have evolved to be lean they don't have the enzyme needed to process fat in their livers (which is where is starts to get stored when they go into starvation mode).

They just called and she'll be there another night at least. She'll get an ultrasound later today and a more permanent feeding tube (inserted into her esophagus instead of through the mouth) tomorrow morning. They said they are concerned that she is still not responding well neurologically, which is probably due to poisoning from the toxins in her liver, which is why they are waiting a little and getting more nutrients into her until they take the next step.

I feel awful. I knew she wasn't doing well, but thought she just had to get adjusted to the new living situation. I've been gone a lot (Campbellsport and camping), so I haven't been here for her. I still don't know how to fix the primary cause of the problem. And of course the whole thing is costing thousands of dollars. Otherwise, Nick is keeping me sane.