"The triumph of hope over experience."

[brdgt]

Inspired by a recent conversation with loreofcure I've been thinking about how one of the things about planning a second wedding after divorce is realizing how our culture is so ashamed of divorce.

People seem shocked that I happily admit that I've done this all before - should I sound bitter? Should I pretend it didn't happen? Should I pretend that I'm not infinitely happier now and that divorce was ultimately a good thing for me?

Half of American marriages end in divorce - why do we pretend like it doesn't happen?

It would be healthier if we were less ashamed and more proud - that experience made me who I am and I'm happier with myself than I've ever been. Why should I be ashamed of surviving that, learning from it, and being more sure of myself and what I want from a relationship?



Also, god help me if someone buys us picture frames as a wedding gift.

Comments

[brdgt.livejournal.com]

Nick was similarly concerned that I would not want to get married again, but yes, after, gasp, a conversation, it was all cleared up. I am very thankful that he does not see being my second husband negatively - for example, that I've already been through a wedding - he doesn't see that as ruining our wedding experience as special and unique.

[delqc.livejournal.com]

I meant to reply to this awhile ago but life got in the way...

I appreciate people getting married the second time even more because they have LIVED that shit and survived. And they presumably have learned and grown and have experience and perspective.. Something many people who are in their first "real" relationship don't have. And they know what or is to go through all that pain but still love enough to risk it. Its admirable, not scornful IMHO.