oh oh oh, i know what it is!! i think. you have to have your communities on your friend's list, so they show up. I did that too, i was a member of some communities but i didn't have them on my friends page because they overwhelmed it. so i went back and rejoined them all and made sure the "add ___community to my friends list" was checked. this is why you need to have a just friends, and a just communities link. Your normal friends list will have EVERYONE. does that make sense?