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I love the Onion...
EPA Didn't Know Anybody was Still Drinking Water
April 26, 2006 | Issue 42•17
WASHINGTON, DC—Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson apologized during a press conference Tuesday for what critics called "flagrant oversight and neglect" in monitoring ground- and tap-water quality across the United States, claiming that his department was unaware that citizens were still consuming it. "I can honestly say we had no idea that anyone used faucet water anymore," Johnson said. "Bottled water, sure—I have some here on the lectern. But if there really are people out there still drinking tap water, all I can say is you're better off not knowing what's in there." Johnson added that official EPA policy is that Americans should stick to sports drinks.
Biofuels Worse For The Environment
According to the journal Science, the use of biofuels does not offset the greenhouse gas emissions produced in their manufacture. What do you think?
April 26, 2006 | Issue 42•17
WASHINGTON, DC—Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson apologized during a press conference Tuesday for what critics called "flagrant oversight and neglect" in monitoring ground- and tap-water quality across the United States, claiming that his department was unaware that citizens were still consuming it. "I can honestly say we had no idea that anyone used faucet water anymore," Johnson said. "Bottled water, sure—I have some here on the lectern. But if there really are people out there still drinking tap water, all I can say is you're better off not knowing what's in there." Johnson added that official EPA policy is that Americans should stick to sports drinks.
Biofuels Worse For The Environment
According to the journal Science, the use of biofuels does not offset the greenhouse gas emissions produced in their manufacture. What do you think?
Bruce Jones,
Systems Analyst
"Would it at least offset the amount of time I have to pretend to care about the environment?"
Kirsten Simonon,
Tattoo Artist
"Just once, why can't one of our poorly considered quick fixes work?"
Will Trembeau,
Truck Dispatcher
"Then where do they suppose we should get this green power? From magic? From the very Sun?"